Single and Catholic?: Here are Five Tips to Staying Positive While Dating
The article was written by Celeste Sibolboro, Founder The Catholic Singles Network. Live in LA? Attend their next in person event!!!
Dating to find the right partner can be a long process. There are things you can do to keep positive.
1. Believe that the journey to finding love is worth it.
When you feel down and doubtful about dating, you may tend to stay at home and not want to even try to go out. Your actions align with your belief and if your belief is low in regards to dating, you may not see opportunities to meet people. When you don’t feel that the journey is worth it, you may tend to stall in your journey and ruminate that there’s no one for you.
If you are discouraged in dating and don’t believe that the journey to love is worth it, you may subconsciously focus on work or volunteering and keep yourself busy instead of seeking opportunities to meet people.
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2. Borrow the hope of a married person who believes that you can get married. That person can help you envision an outcome of your future self who is married and that person can help you move confidently in the direction towards marriage. They know that the road may not be easy, but they also can lift you up since their experience shows that love is possible since they were able to get married. You need someone who believes in the possibility for you when you can’t see the possibility. Someone older than you who has had a similar journey can encourage you to keep going. That person can be there to give you advice and to encourage you. They can celebrate every little and big step you take.
3. Find a friend who can accompany you in your journey. You and a friend can both help each other out, encourage each other, and give each other advice. Jesus wanted the disciples to go two by two for their mission. You may be hesitant to go meet new friends because you feel uncomfortable and awkward. When you have a friend to support you, you can feel more confident that you’ll be alright no matter what and that someone is at your side. You won’t feel so alone and isolated in your journey. You’ll have someone to talk through any anxious thoughts and any embarrassing moments you may go through. You’ll have a sounding board when you feel that someone you are dating may not be the right person for you. You’ll have someone who can listen to you.
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4. Be clear about your values and what you are looking for and think of people who have those values. Write down your top 3 values and top 3 things you are looking for in a life partner. Know why the values are important to you. When you write these down, you are more clear about what you are looking for and you can readily spot whether a potential partner has them or not. When you have clarity, you are less anxious and less stressed. When you feel down or discouraged that people you are meeting do not have the values you are looking for, you can remember that there are people or saints who do have those values. Those role models can help you hope that there will be someone that has the traits you are looking for.
5. Be fed with God’s Word and the Eucharist. We cannot be able to sustain ourselves without food. Finding a spouse is a spiritual journey. You definitely want a spouse that can help you get to heaven. Going to Blessed Sacrament Adoration, going to mass, reading the bible and other spiritual reading can help sustain you in your journey. You can get inspiration on your next actions in your dating journey from listening to God in adoration. Or you’ll get inspired from something you hear at mass or something you read. By going to adoration, you’ll rest in God’s love. Resting helps you not be so tired and weary. You gain strength and energy to persevere and remain joyful in your journey to the “one” God wants you to marry.
Remember, God is with you in your journey. You are not alone. People can help you in your journey and God can sustain you in your journey.
By Celeste Sibolboro
Celeste Sibolboro is the Director of Events for Catholic Singles Network and has in-person and online events for Catholic singles. Upcoming events can be found at http://catholicsinglesnetwork.com and by subscribing to receive a newsletter on upcoming events.
Finding her true love match took longer than expected for Celeste. She used the tips she wrote about in this article to stay positive in her journey to finding her husband.
